normanbuckley:

Going through pictures today, painful but necessary. A friend wrote me, “As a child, C. S. Lewis lost his mother to cancer. After that, he closed down emotionally and was determined never to let himself be hurt like that again. Then, late in life he married, only to lose his wife to cancer after she had given him the best years of his life. The loss devastated him, and he chronicled his grief in small notebooks he kept around the house, which he later published under a pseudonym. I remember reading it a long time ago, appreciating its honesty.
“No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear.” That’s one of the things I remember him saying.
Then something he said about the heaviness of grief has with me, how his “feet have turned to lead.”
And then this one, which I especially loved. “Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.”

I remember Lewis, after the funeral of his wife, being asked by her son. “Why love if losing hurts?”

To which he replied: “I have no answers, only the life I have lived. Twice in my life I was given a choice, both as a boy and as a man. The man chose safety; the man chose suffering. The pain now is part of the happiness then. That’s the deal.”                           
Thanks to all who have reached out to me in this difficult time.

normanbuckley:

Going through pictures today, painful but necessary. A friend wrote me, “As a child, C. S. Lewis lost his mother to cancer. After that, he closed down emotionally and was determined never to let himself be hurt like that again. Then, late in life he married, only to lose his wife to cancer after she had given him the best years of his life. The loss devastated him, and he chronicled his grief in small notebooks he kept around the house, which he later published under a pseudonym. I remember reading it a long time ago, appreciating its honesty.
“No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear.” That’s one of the things I remember him saying.
Then something he said about the heaviness of grief has with me, how his “feet have turned to lead.”
And then this one, which I especially loved. “Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.”

I remember Lewis, after the funeral of his wife, being asked by her son. “Why love if losing hurts?”

To which he replied: “I have no answers, only the life I have lived. Twice in my life I was given a choice, both as a boy and as a man. The man chose safety; the man chose suffering. The pain now is part of the happiness then. That’s the deal.”
Thanks to all who have reached out to me in this difficult time.

55 notes

The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words make them smaller. When they were in your head they were limitless, but when they come out they seem to be no bigger than normal things.
Stephen King, The Body (via ahmoses)

(Source: EFDOL)

27,675 notes

The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words make them smaller. When they were in your head they were limitless, but when they come out they seem to be no bigger than normal things.
Stephen King, The Body (via ahmoses)

(Source: EFDOL)

27,675 notes

14 notes

tracylord:

"The Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation."

Monica Drake, Clown Girl

597 notes

tracylord:

"The Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation."

Monica Drake, Clown Girl

597 notes

cinephiliabeyond:

The neo-noir boxing drama that finally reinstated John Huston on the road of financial success after a series of box office disappointments, Fat City is a wonderful piece of filmmaking that remains one of our dearest sports films of all time. Leonard Gardner adeptly adapted his own novel of the same name and, with the help of marvelous Stacy Keach, Oscar-nominated Susan Tyrell and very young Jeff Bridges, Houston created an instant hit and future classic. In the words of Roger Ebert, “Huston treats the story with a level, unsentimental honesty and makes it into one of his best films.” Ladies and gentlemen, we’re very happy to present you the extremely rare PDF scan of Gardner’s inspiring screenplay. Enjoy!
Huston treats the story with a level, unsentimental honesty and makes it into one of his best films.

cinephiliabeyond:

The neo-noir boxing drama that finally reinstated John Huston on the road of financial success after a series of box office disappointments, Fat City is a wonderful piece of filmmaking that remains one of our dearest sports films of all time. Leonard Gardner adeptly adapted his own novel of the same name and, with the help of marvelous Stacy Keach, Oscar-nominated Susan Tyrell and very young Jeff Bridges, Houston created an instant hit and future classic. In the words of Roger Ebert, “Huston treats the story with a level, unsentimental honesty and makes it into one of his best films.” Ladies and gentlemen, we’re very happy to present you the extremely rare PDF scan of Gardner’s inspiring screenplay. Enjoy!

Huston treats the story with a level, unsentimental honesty and makes it into one of his best films.

67 notes

Jonathan Crow, openculture.com

If one can characterize Stanley Kubrick by his complete control over the medium and his dogged insistence on staying within 30 miles of his house when shooting a movie, even if it means dressing up a London factory to look like Hue, Vietnam as he …